The right message

If you hadn't wrote me anything today, I would have wrote you a message telling you how I am doing and that I'm sorry and that I miss you... But it wouldn't have been the correct message 'cause I would have hidden you some things... This is the message I should have sent you, uncensored


Hi!
It's me again, of course! who else would be talking to you like this? hahahaha
This week we've talked a lot... this is the third time... that's not really "a lot" but... it's by far so much more than we've done these last weeks. Yes... I'm sorry I shouldn't have done it, you have lots of things to do and I only bother... But you are my friend, I miss you and I couldn't stop myself of talking to you either hahaha

The other day... I didn't wanted to talk about me, remember? It's just that... when I'm able to talk with you I don't wanna waste that few minutes telling you how I feel because you don't seem to care... And I wanna know everything about you: how it's going, how are you, how are you really feeling, how is your life, what are you doing, how/who are the people you go with, how do you feel with them, if there's someone who can replace me, if you like someone, if there's a special girl, if you've fallen in love... I really care about you and your happines makes me feel better.

So... at your question about me starting university: I don't want to start and lose all the freedom I have now, I don't want to spend lots of time studying till my head explodes, I don't want to make new friends, I don't want to feel that I'm not wellcomed...
But well... even if that's all you asked for... I wanna tell you how I'm doing and how I'm feeling. I'm feeling bad, so bad... You can't imagine how much I miss you and how bad I need you... You are the person who knows me the most and the only one who I've opened my heart 100%... And I'm used to (or I was used to) talk to you every day, everytime I needed you... and now you are not here... which really kills me... You are the one who makes me smile when I feel like dying, you make me feel special, you help me, you are usually the one who's by my side when I need someone... and you know... you made me feel loved. But now you are not here and I don't know what to do without you... I don't know how to feel when you don't relpy me, when you see my messages after two days, when I need you and I know you are not gonna be here, when I really need you to make me feel like I can do something fine, that I'm special, when I need to know that someone cares about me... At this moment my life has no sense without you.
Give me time and I guess this will get better, don't worry (I know you are not haha)

All I want is you to be happy so I hope you are. I would love to be there to tell people you are the most amazing person in this whole world so then they can come closer to you and make you happy. You know... I don't wanna disturb you so if you are happier without me just say it. Yes, yes, of course it would kill me (don't worry even I know you are not worried hahaha) but like I've said, all I want is your happiness.

I would really love to hear from you soon... I miss you like hell and if you remember you promised me you would talk to me every day even when I said once a week would be okay for me (I've said to myslef I'm not gonna tell you you've broken your promise just in case miraculously, you feel bad).
A biiig hug!

Inés

P.S.: I'm sorry for this message, I don't want to bother you, never. You can just ignore this messasge, I'll try to be fine with it
P.S.2: I wish your last status was for me, I really wish... But not as much as I really wish you missed me...
P.S.3: Please, don't act as you care if you don't because it hurts a lot knowing that you don't care what I'm saying...
P.S.4: I love you... yes I really do... sorry for saying it



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT_nvWreIhg

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